"The Parking Mafia"

I have to dedicate one blog to the parking mafia. You may be wondering what "The Parking Mafia" is exactly. Well, my first encounter with this secret band of theives came on the first day of our visit to Brazil at the moment our vehicle stopped to park for the very first time. Yes, if you stop, put your car in park and step away from your vehicle, Brazilians are then subjected to this mafia. They are strong in numbers. If I had to guess there is one Mafia member per one block on every main street in every city in Brazil. I can safely assume that they have marked territory because you will never see more than one of them in a place at a time. They don't carry guns, knives, or even sticks. They never have a tough or threatening appearance, so you are never afraid they will attack you physically. Most American women could put a one-two punch or a swift karate chop on them and they would fall into the street and roll to the curb in pain. Their power comes from the consequences of your actions and not the might of their fists. They don't talk, they don't ask, but they stand in the shadows of your car door and wait, lurking like snakes daring you to put your car in drive before acknowledging their presence. Poof, out of nowhere they appear, standing next to your window. They don't put their hands out and never say a word. Brazilian drivers reach into their dash console, pull out no less than 1 Real (Unit of Currency), hand it to the man and even tell him "Thank You." Thank you? Yep, Thank You. An efficient Mafia member can probably make 50 Reis a day, probably more than a city police officer, yet the Mafia goes unregulated by any laws. Off duty police officers pay them the same way, too. The reason their profession is so successful is because they have been working off the fear of Brazilian drivers for decades, I would assume. It is said that if you do not pay them their unjust dues, they will tag your vehicle, take note of the model and license plate, relay the information to other members, and soon your vehicle will be vandalized because of your disobedience to the Mafia. They stand in the streets as supposed auto security when in fact they are the real threats to your vehicle. So to summarize how the "Parking Mafia" works, it goes like this:

1. They wait for you to return to your vehicle
2. Brazilian drivers think about the consequences
3. They reach into their dash and pay no less than 1 Real
4. You tell them Thank You
5. They assist you with hand gestures out of your space (Not Needed)
6. You drive off mumbling to yourself in disgust
7. You make change and put it in your dash console for the next time you park.

I don't know if this would work in the United States but I don't want to find out. A person can spend 5 to 10 bucks a day just because of fear of the "Parking Mafia."